On DRM, Pre-orders, and Torchlight II

The developers at Runic Games have me in a quandary, and their motherland of origin hasn't done much to help the situation, here.

As the Diablo III hype was whipped into a malevolent storm of excitement, anticipation, and unbridled gamer fury, I had elected to sit on the sidelines and observe the Internet maelstrom while taking a trip into the last decade and dusting off my old - old - copies of Diablo II. After spending several hours of classic hacking and slashing, I came to two conclusions:

1. Diablo II is still fun.
2. Diablo II is not as fun as I had hoped it would be.

Hell... for the hundredth time.

It was with a shallow pit in my stomach that I put my D2 discs aside and sat there yearning for the ever-niggling requirement for "more." The problem wasn't that beating the hero-goblin Rakanishu upside the head for the umpteenth time wasn't as smooth, fluid, and altogether rewarding as it was twelve (ugh) years ago. The problem was that after reaching the double-digit mark for brutally beating ol' Rak like a piñata doll filled with hundred dollar bills, you start to wonder if or when he'll go on strike for better working conditions... maybe even a little vacation time and bonus incentives to go with his meager salary as a ne'er-do-well. The point is, Diablo II just felt stale.

Mods notwithstanding, it was clear that I needed to move on from Throw the Devil A Beatin' 2.0, and get onto other, more recent things. But, when it came to Action RPGs, my initial gut reaction was that there was just no beating the King that is Blizzard. Diablo III had to be the way to go, and that just soured my stomach.

Meme aside, this is bad, Blizzard.

Yes, you can feel free to pile me in with the rest of the anti-DRM horde who wailed and gnashed their teeth at the prospect of one of their favorite titles being an online-only game. No, I don't have dial-up. No, I don't live on an outer space mountain range. No, I am not a Luddite. All told, there's no physical limitation to me playing Diablo III. The issue is purely a moral one. While the roaring horde of fandom lined up in perpetuity for the latest release of their beloved franchise, I did exactly what Blizzard's executive management suggested and stepped aside. After all the fallout in the past couple of days resulting from Blizzard's impeccable knack to shank a field goal from three yards, I'd be lying if I said that I didn't feel vindicated for abstaining.

But, the hunger remained. I needed to throw a click-beating to hordes of enemies, and I needed to do it now.

In the frothy swirl of gamer angst and anguish, there was a singular unified message from the users who elected to "boycott" Diablo III. (I find the word boycott amusing as I'm sure the Secret Service is investigating Blizzard HQ right now to make sure that Diablo III isn't actually a license to print money.) The message was hidden deep between cries to the Blizzard Elder Gods and epithets towards the boycotters. The message was quiet, buried, hidden... but uniform.

"Pre-order Torchlight II!"

Come see the softer side of DRM.

I had never really given the original Torchlight a fair shake. I think I might have given it ten minutes of playing, at most. The esteemed Lord Croshaw, himself dubbed Torchlight "Easy, but worth the $3". Of course, Yahtzee could probably find something amusingly wrong with an all-you-can-eat prime rib and lobster special at a college nudist sorority, so I always take that with a grain of salt. The rest of the universe doesn't seem to have much of an issue with it; I'd think it's worth a shot.

But here's where Gabe Newell decides to kick me in the mental jewels. Steam is currently selling Torchlight for $15. However, pre-order Torchlight II for $20 and it'll come with Torchlight for free on-the-spot. That includes offline play, LAN co-op play, and all the "old school" creature comforts that I have grown to expect out of those $60 Triple-A titles, but curiously have been missing.

This is, of course, the "Damn it, Steam, stop making me buy things!" quandary that PC gamers have been facing since Valve realized it was sitting on a money pit. I usually don't pre-order things as I have little trust that the game I pre-ordered would be exactly what I wanted on day one. Pre-ordering is practically paying developers to let you be their post-beta guinea pig. Post-launch bugs usually don't settle down for a month or so after the fact, and I never wanted that to spoil my experience with the bright new shiny game staring me straight in the face.

But, if this is the alternative to Blizzard's ball-and-chain methodology of customer service, so be it.

Do you see this, Blizzard (not that you care)? This is me loading a demo of a competing product and completely and utterly sitting on the fence about it. Aren't you terrified?

I'm terrified. I'm terrified as hell.